I think i'm getting more bonkers.
The other day i was doing the laundry, i accidentally cut my hand.
I cried and called gz and screamed at him. And haha, he came down to my hse immediately.
yay.
=)

Anyway, I'm so tired everyday, nv slept enough.
HAIS. I must slp after i watched hai pai tian xin.
=)



I must get things done.
I'm a lazy bum.
Sighs!



Very surprised to see many ppl are/ were actually on the same boat with me.
Reading them makes me feel ___.
Tell myself constantly, this should be buried deep in my heart. my mind.
But, i know the pain of this is increasing. The longer it goes, the worst it gets.
What can I do?
The moment one knows what is gg on, ... ...
No way. Hell no.

I wanna stop this feeling,
but how could i?
How do i stop this feeling?
I just can't tell you why.

It is impossible between ____.
Can I stop ___________.
=(



Okay me decided, find a not so tough job so as to make sure i can complete my studies.
So, the IO job is out alr.
Think I shld zoom in and focus on finding either cust serv or admin related.
I dun wanna b too stressed out and neglect work/ studies.
But if i do fail/ do badly in any of it, i can't stress myself too much either.
Just do my best. Right right.
Just hope gz faster start work, faster earn money, faster yang wo.
Then i no need to be so stressed. HAHA!
Okay actually i'm not stressed yet.
Actually i'm enjoying my slacker life now.
But i just dun feel like doing nothing everyday whenever i've nth to do.
Ermz, i dun really get what i'm trying to type but i noe what i'm trying to say.
yay.
Just do my best in finding a job for now
=)
Cannot be too tough, able to juggle w my studies in future.
At least for the whole of the 3 yr course.
Can't be too ambitious for now.
Maybe after my studies, i can start being ambitious.
But for now, it's just one step at a time.
If i've a low salary, den i shall be thrifty.
If i wanna buy smthing, i shall think twice.
Then i will be able to survive.

KK. step by step.
step by step.
zzz.



Bloody missed the chance.
Really hated myself.
ARGG.
It cld hav been a gd job opp for me cus it's like not diff, 3 timeslots to choose from, ideal for me if i were to work and study, not bad pay.
F me.
Really.
=(

Alrighty, fine. For now i can only wait for the other job.
Havent got any replies yet. It's kinda hard for me to get that i know.
just gotta console myself that i gave myself til feb.
Still got a bit of time left.
Cheer up pork.

HAHA.
Movies watched: Sherlock Holmes, The Spy Next Door, and The Blind Side.
I love The Blind Side.=)
SO very touching and i like Sandra Bullock.
=)



Currently:

下一站, 幸福 & 海派甜心

=)

HAHA!

Both are nice!

Okay, i'm nua-ing these few days at hm.
It's just the laziness in me.
I cld've worked part-time these few days, but i chose to nua at home.
Late nights, chiong dramas, out w the BNF and BFC and gang for late night entertainment/supper, talking to my BNF in the midnight & watching dramas tgt (at diff homes of cus)... omg so so so unfulfilling actually.
But, I'm actually enjoying this life very much. Definitely can't last for long.
I mean, no work means no money what.
How to lead such life for long? lol!

My right arm is aching quite a bit due to bowling & badminton.
Shucks.
=(
It aches esp when i scratch my back w that hand.
OUCH.



After listening to Jeff's talk, I felt soooo depressed.
=(
Anyway, everything is not finalised yet.
I've till Feb rite rite.
Anyway, I'm damn SENSITIVE these few days.
Esp with those friends who always make me sensitive!

Anyway, another depressing thing is that i found out the reason for me increasing so much weight was that I was on medication for pimples!
So sad la. it's like all the weight lost came up in 6 mths just like that.
SAD!=(
=(
=(

Bloody depressed week.
Really really really.

Shakes head.
Life is so depressing zomg.

Anyway Gz knocked his head on some metal thingy.
He claimed he was so in pain that i had to rushed back to Tampines and pangseh my butties.
But when i saw him, he wasn't as bad as i tot.
Argg.
Always say til very jia lat in order to make me gan jiong.
blah.



Ok, i freaking went to some place to meet up him and his frens,
and i went back home to get smth cus i forgot to bring, den had to go back to that same place agn.

I was pissed becus, the reason for forgetting the thing was because i forgot, yes.
And my stupid lao didn't remind me when he came my hse to fetch me.
He should noe i've some serious f-up memory there.

I was pissed becus I had to go double trip just to get smth to LEND ppl.

I was pissed why my stupid lao didn't stop me from walking back to get the thing when he should've said things like I should wait til he finished the game den acc me back home.

I was pissed becus I actually had that feeling to play after leaving the sports hall but i had to walk back home thus resulting of time wasted and couldn't play anything.

I was pissed why i have to get back home MYSELF and bring that thing back.

I was pissed why can't they just walk to my hse to get it since I was supposed to be the middleman to lend smth not even to return or wad.

I was pissed why I'm even that stupid to even go to the sports hall when i knew i wldn't be able to play a game because i'm a f-lousy player.

I was pissed of myself for eventually gg back to the hall to deliver that thing to my fren because i know i must complete my "mission".

I was pissed off.
F-PISSED OFF.
The most pissed off thing was that my stupid lao didn't even call to ask if i were gg back to meet him or hav i reached home. Or asked if i were safe. Or even give me a call.
DAMN pissed.
I could've NOT go back.
I could've stayed at home and rest.
I could've f- dun care.
Because, they don't even care.

F-pissed.



Bad oh Bad.
=(
It's me. I know.
But i can't help it.
Thy feel.

Anyway, been gg out a lot.
Bought quite alot of things and gg broke.
No jobs, so broke.
Fren's bdays and travel.
and so many many.

Shall find a job soon.
Else no money can't buy presents for frens.
Sad sad.

Luckily i can't really celebrate for cny.
cus that means i do not hav to buy many new clothes.
and spend more money agn.
i cld also give excuses for not buying new clothes to bai nian.
yupz.

anyway, may gd luck come to me soon.
now and forever.
luckz me.



Xy's 21st party on Sunday was =)
She's the first Butt to turn 21!
Ha.
She was so pretty and glam in her toga jumpsuit.
And loved the cake too!

Anyway, next wld be pam den everyone and den all of us wld b so old alr.
Sighs.

I'm still contemplating whether to sponsor my ah lao for that dwnpayment thingy.
it's like, if he doesn't do braces den i could do it. But it wld be a waste of money to put braces on me and my frens were like wth-why-do-u-wanna-put-braces-might-as-well-save-the-money-to-do-slimming that kind of face. LOL.
And i seriously think my lao shld put braces as his set of teeth is very bad.
=(
Okay, now how.
to or not to?

Lol!

kk. bloody broke already. Hates the Ir for not starting the training early man.
It's making gz broke soon and it makes me unhappy arhgzzz!
=(
Faster start faster start!!!!